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   messageicon Paris Hilton is working on a new CD. I believe this one is called, "And You Thought the First One Sucked".
←Rate | 11-30-2009 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so friggin' heroic.
←Rate | 11-02-2010 12:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's really hard raising a child by yourself, I don't know how my T.V. does it.
←Rate | 11-02-2010 14:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok who was the moron that came up with idea of the kiddie shopping carts shaped like animals,trains, race, cars or whatever! Parents do you really need to push your kids around the store in in a shopping cart bigger then the car you came to the store in!
←Rate | 11-02-2010 21:08 by Nunthewizr Comments (2)  


   messageicon My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:21 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering the number of paternity tests Maury Povich has on his show, I think he should change the shows name from " The Maury Povich show" to "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?".
←Rate | 12-04-2010 08:22 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car heater has two settings: face melting and off.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 16:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon My ceiling fan has two settings... "On" and "S#it, that's dusty."
←Rate | 08-30-2010 06:21 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men leave the house thinking someone wants to have sex with them so they pack condoms. Women think the same so they pack mace and a taser.
←Rate | 08-31-2010 15:34 by MBH Comments (2)  


   messageicon What's the difference between complete and finished? When you have a beautiful girlfriend your life is complete, your wife finds out about it you're finished.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maury: "Darth Vader, you.... ARE the father." Luke: "Nooooo!"
←Rate | 09-25-2010 14:39 by Russell Bilaknockified Comments (0)  


   messageicon People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 12:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I pick my hotels solely based upon the items they show in the pictures of their continental breakfast.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the best feelings is cutting a person off and then having them do something to reassure you that you made the right decison.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Windows is waiting for the program to respond." Funny... So am I.
←Rate | 01-18-2011 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves how my gf calls me on her breaks. Which involves hearing courtesy flushes. Learn to break somewhere else.Thanks.
←Rate | 04-11-2010 12:45 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the 4th be with you!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 05:21 by @TheChadi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think there's any limit to how many blades they'll put on razors? Like in 2025 there will be the Schick Annihilator 100.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (0)  



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