RoN Funny Status Messages

   a Blonde just texted me and asked "what does idk stand for? " I said "i dont know" she said "omg! nobody does!"

   Don't try winning an arguement with a girl, they will ALWAYS win.

   Facebook has just suggested I poke my wife . . . Yeah good one facebook . . . Been trying for weeks . .

   woke up my wife this morning. She started feeling my face with her eyes closed. I asked her what she's doing and she said "Looking for the off button."

   The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?

   hates it when you go down to get a midnight snack and get excited to find some treasure in the fridge, only to have your hopes and dreams dashed by the treasure being so far past it's expiration date that only Ashton Kutcher would be interested...

   wonders why, if you send someone a fruit basket, you are thoughtful. If I mailed someone an orange and a banana, they'd wonder, "What the hell is wrong with that guy?"

   n't surprised that our economy has troubles when we deal with something called Hog Futures. Hogs have no future. Bacon is not a career.

   says when my psychiatrist told me I was crazy, I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Alright, you're ugly too." I guess I need to be careful what I ask for.

   wonders if you know how to tell a real cowboy from a fake one in the kitchen? The real cowboy would be on the range.

   thinks if he were a fighter pilot, his call sign would have to be "Hot Wings".

   thinks he is going to adopt an African child, but he isn't going to be like Angelina Jolie and just adopt willy nilly, if he goes over there, he is coming back with a wide receiver or running back.

   wondering ... When Weird Al Yankovic dies, will they do a parody of Michael Jackson's memorial?

   thinks the fine people at Aleve are very wise indeed. For headaches, take two Aleve, and keep away from children.

   thinks it is just about time for people to get off their dead asses and start looking into all of the corn that Jimmy has been cracking.

   's heard about the fountain of youth, he would much prefer there be a fountain of smart.

   going to wear underwear on the outside of his clothes tomorrow to see if people assume he's crazy, or a superhero.

   says it's been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom....

   wonders if people who use sign language are allowed to talk with their mouth full....

   glad Justin brought sexy back, I didn't mean to scare it away to begin with.