Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The fact that I don't feel an ant crawling on me until it bites me makes me think that ninja school I went to was a total sham.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A completely unattractive woman is hitting on me at the bar. I'd drink until she's cute but the bar closes in 9 hours...
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think not drinking sucks? Try being the only sober guy in a 3am game of Texas Hold 'Em!
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever's in charge of telling old men when they have weird, long hairs growing out of their eyebrows/ears should be fired.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait till my son is old enough for me to hide a dirty magazine under his mattress for his mom to find.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm not drunk!" is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 11:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone please check on Cleveland? I'm concerned because they've been in the bathroom a long time.
←Rate | 07-10-2010 17:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most tedious part of being an Afghani phone sex operator is describing what I'm wearing.
←Rate | 07-10-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why's Lil Wayne still in Jail? Someone should work on breaking him out. Call T-Pain, I hear he has a boat.
←Rate | 07-10-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's the genius that gave the police sirens?
←Rate | 07-10-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness is spelled C-A-S-H
←Rate | 07-10-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon you shouldn't listen to other people's foolishness. You should listen to mine.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 19:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only horoscope you will ever need goes like this: Planets are doing stuff, so it's a good day to do stuff but be prepared in case bad stuff happens.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 19:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many crap loads are there in a sh*t ton again? cuz that's exactly how Cleveland feels like right now...
←Rate | 07-09-2010 16:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACEBOOK ALERT: Lebron James is now in a relationship with Lebron James.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 16:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just LeBron Jamesed my pants. Is that a thing yet?
←Rate | 07-09-2010 16:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 16:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It feels good not to have any feelings.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 19:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  



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