Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I just read that the Actor who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter said he is going to become a rapper! .... can we all say Expecto Disapointmento! 
The next time I go to chruch.. I'm bringin my own wine and crackers!
Respect your parents. They pay for your internet
crap! woke up with a pulse! guess I'm gonna have to work now!
So April 7th is National Beer Day... I want to get "speaking in cursive" drunk.
While surfing for spring and summer fashions on the web, I found myself on the Victoria Secret page when my 13 year old boy-child entered the room. He made the comment, “Isn't that a site for hot girls?” To which I responded, “Go to your room.”
You can call a girl cute or hot and it's basically the same thing... I have found this rule does not apply to babies.
I always choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola because I prefer my soda dehyphenated.
Famous Marilyn Monroe dress sold for $4.6 million. I bet Joe DiMaggio sent more shots against that dress than the wall at Yankee Stadium!
like a good neighbor state farm is there...with winning lotto numbers
went to the walk in clinic to find out why my willy was orange, the Dr. asked me "what do you do all day?" Well, I like to surf porn and eat cheetos.
Sex can not ruin a friendship! Thats like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
carrying a Coach purse, driving a few years old Lexus and paying for your food order with your Access card! I hope you get herpes. Meanwhile I will try and get by on unemployment you f'n baby factory.
's tip of the day: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
I like poking dead things with a stick...kicking my neighbors cat...and yelling at nuns walking down the street..."you working or walking?"...let's see that on E-Harmony.
If Facebook shutdown people would be in tears, shoving pictures of themselves in front of mirror in bathrooms and showing on people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"
Just because you're in a committed relationship, doesn't mean you can't have friends of the opposite sex.
"The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source." -- George Washington
How sad Amy Schumer broke up with Kermit the frog.
I bet I can maı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨ke you wipe your computer screen. 