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   messageicon How in the hell do people spell your name wrong on facebook when it's right in front of them?!
←Rate | 04-14-2012 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people cry when they cut onions. I try not to form an emotional bond.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is Oreo going to start selling just the filling?
←Rate | 02-28-2012 15:37 Comments (1)  


   messageicon From now on every time I see a "for lease" sign, I will put a "navidad" sign under it
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:31 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most stoners seem like they're not too bright. But ask them about weed and they turn into a walking Wikipedia.
←Rate | 04-24-2012 10:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Lord; If my happiness bothers some people, please give them their own happiness so they wont bother hating on mine.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 14:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I thought room service was for rich people. Now I realize it's for lazy, hungover people who can't find their pants.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling
←Rate | 05-23-2012 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year we will experience 4 unusual dates.... 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 ......... NOW go figure this out.... take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it WILL EQUAL .... 111!
←Rate | 01-18-2011 00:21 by Red R Comments (16)  


   messageicon Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 08:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cell phone, I dont know why you keep capitalizing VODKA, But I like the way you party....
←Rate | 06-21-2012 17:34 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon wanna come back to my place & watch some p0rn on my 60" flat screen mirror?
←Rate | 06-29-2012 17:06 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Husband says to wife,"My Olympic condoms have arrived, I think I'll wear gold tonight." Wife says ‘Why don't you wear silver and come second for a change?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 15:45 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don't make the rules people.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon That special feeling of joy when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all these laws cracking down on texting while driving, I think it's a little bit ironic that every police car I see has a open laptop attached to the dashboard. You telling me that's not a distraction? 
←Rate | 02-07-2012 11:32 by Whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
←Rate | 04-24-2013 16:07 by sully Comments (0)  



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