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Not every trophy wife is first place...
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05-02-2015 12:05 by
Timmy
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For best kale smoothie: 1) Fill blender with ice 2) Place kale in trash 3) Pour rum in blender 4) Add fresh fruits 5) Blend well 6) Enjoy
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05-24-2015 14:59
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If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
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12-10-2013 14:37 by
Jitney
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If you Google the word 'overreacting' there's a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
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01-12-2014 11:13
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Hello and welcome to DeVry orientation.. Sign-in sheets are on the left, Steve is passing out your diplomas,,, thanks & congrats class of 10:47.
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02-02-2014 07:57 by
snotty
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Frankly auto correct,I'm getting tired of your shirt.
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05-31-2015 12:12
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Just watched a guy walk down the street eating a bowl of cereal. That guy has life figured out.
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06-25-2015 14:34
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I carry around a jar with a cricket for uncomfortable silences.
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06-30-2015 11:56
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The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of an iPhone is that I can afford the old one.
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09-09-2015 23:56
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I think the winner should aspire to greater things than a chicken dinner...
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09-14-2015 20:37 by
Aaron
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I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
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09-21-2015 16:40
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So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response
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01-16-2016 20:56
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No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother.
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05-16-2016 14:50
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I just found out that his full name is actually,, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
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09-21-2013 12:48 by
snotty
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My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
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10-17-2013 09:44
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I'm late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-6. I'm thankful for boobs
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11-06-2013 07:57 by
sully
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Just found a hole in my sock and now I'm worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
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11-23-2013 09:32
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I've just renamed my wifi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02". That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
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12-17-2010 17:10
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there is a big diffrence when a boy and a girl says "i went through a box of tissue watching a movie"
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06-21-2011 16:29
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If you put a empty 40oz bottle to your ear , you can hear the ghetto .
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06-10-2011 18:32
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