Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 446 of 5577
If breast/penis enlargment cream worked, wouldn't your hands get bigger?
167
30
←Rate |
07-24-2010 21:09
Comments (
0
)
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
167
30
←Rate |
08-10-2010 00:57 by
Jeff
Comments (
0
)
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart
167
30
←Rate |
08-19-2009 23:43 by
Mike
Comments (
0
)
Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
167
30
←Rate |
04-07-2012 10:45 by
Goodeolboy
Comments (
0
)
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people's backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
167
30
←Rate |
12-17-2011 05:02 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
It's that time of year again where commercials remind me that I will probably never get a car with a bow on it.
128
23
←Rate |
11-21-2011 09:13 by
SuthernFukr
Comments (
0
)
I can ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence.
128
23
←Rate |
12-09-2011 12:30 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
I know it's 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
128
23
←Rate |
04-06-2012 18:04 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
What doesn't kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
128
23
←Rate |
04-13-2012 16:52 by
R2D2
Comments (
0
)
The phrase, "Don't take this the wrong way" has a zero percent success rate.
128
23
←Rate |
02-26-2012 07:30 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
128
23
←Rate |
02-26-2012 07:33 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
The woman in front of me in the checkout line wrote an actual check. I assume she then boarded her carriage and returned to her plantation.
128
23
←Rate |
04-27-2012 05:43 by
Doc Noland
Comments (
0
)
If I see a parked car with one of those stick figure family things, I always add a sticker of myself to it and then just wait in the car.
128
23
←Rate |
10-15-2011 11:59 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
128
23
←Rate |
11-03-2011 12:59
Comments (
0
)
No, I'm not "done sleeping." In fact, I will never be done sleeping, I'm merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in its current, climate-controlled location.
128
23
←Rate |
05-09-2011 14:29 by
Dylan Bosch
Comments (
0
)
Word for today: Dipshidiot
128
23
←Rate |
02-09-2011 21:24
Comments (
0
)
Two blondes fall down a pit. First Blonde: "It's dark in here isn't it..." Second Blonde: "I don't know, I can't see..."
128
23
←Rate |
10-06-2011 15:33
Comments (
0
)
I'm torn between having 'wish you were here' or 'look behind you' engraved on my headstone.
128
23
←Rate |
08-16-2012 18:01 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
128
23
←Rate |
01-13-2013 10:53 by
Czovczov
Comments (
0
)
BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape.
128
23
←Rate |
02-16-2013 06:37 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com