BEGO Funny Status Messages

   “Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again.” (my brain)

   Weddings in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.

   People like to talk about other people....it diverts the attention away from them.

   I just love hearing somebody lying, when I know the truth..

   I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.

   WARNING: Unhealthy relationships may cause headaches, stress & a waste of your time. The cure for this is to be single.

   Why does your need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house?

   hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam?

   You can't hurry love, but you can honk the horn a few times and let it know you're waiting.

   Can't call it a real relationship if you feel single.

   If you fear rejection, get a job trying to hand out free samples at the mall food court, problem solved!

   When I say ‘it's a long story', it doesn't mean it's actually a long story. It means I just don't want to tell you.

   I can be doing all the right things and life still has a way of slapping me in the face..

   You're cute…That's until your 30-day photoshop trial expires.

   Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

   I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back...

   I wouldn't consider myself Single, more like I'm in a relationship with Freedom!

   There are friends, there is family and then there are friends that become family.

   A snake can shed its skin, but it will always be a snake. Remember that before allowing people back into your life.

   Man are like BLUETOOTH, he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. And women are like WI-FI, she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one.