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I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my jokes, like William, Shatner.
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09-20-2014 06:33 by
snotty
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To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
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10-11-2014 07:30 by
snotty
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If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
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09-13-2013 12:47
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knockin' boots. Okay, maybe knockin' snow off my boots, but still.
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12-31-2010 10:24
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First the doctor gave me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me..
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01-01-2011 14:04 by
Wolf
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My car keys are kicking my ass at hide and seek.
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01-08-2011 15:00 by
Dave
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If I don't answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn't going to make me answer.
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01-10-2011 23:21 by
Marshall the Great
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On this day thirty years ago.. Mtv still played music videos.
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01-18-2011 15:30 by
Goodeolboy
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I was planning on procastinating today but I think I'm going to put that off until next week as well
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01-23-2011 13:56 by
scottyp
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A picture speaks a thousand words, but with photo-shop, it tells a thousand lies
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01-26-2011 06:18
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I think Facebook needs another relationship type: Domestic Incarceration
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01-27-2011 02:53 by
JC
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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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12-27-2009 20:22 by
Lemonpillow
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wonders why we dont have names for earthquakes
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01-15-2010 13:48
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wondering why there is a cork screw on a Swiss Army Knife. I can't remember the last time I encountered a wild bottle of Chianti in the wild..
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03-11-2010 09:28 by
MarkAElliott
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will have on his Tombstone, "See I told you I was SICK!"
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03-20-2010 00:31 by
Aaron
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Played Tiger Woods PGA Tour '10 the other day. Funny thing was that the 'cheat codes' were already put into the game.
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03-28-2010 09:44 by
Danmanz
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survived April Fools Day without being pranked, however there was a baby on my doorstep this morning, but i'm pretty sure thats unrelated.
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04-02-2010 18:22
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If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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08-21-2009 04:48
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I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
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04-03-2010 14:20
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When someone ruins a load of whites on TV it's always because of a stupid red sock. Never a burgundy washcloth or scarlet granny panties, always a sock! Who owns fire engine red socks anyway?
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04-07-2010 16:06
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