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I never did use my illusion. Is it too late?
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11-29-2010 21:24 by
jdpower
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I hate when people put words in my mouth.. with the possible exceptions of “waffle” or “sandwich.”
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11-29-2010 21:23 by
jdpower
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If I joined Earth, Wind & Fire, I think the element I'd want to be is Surprise.
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11-29-2010 21:21 by
jdpower
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In retrospect, everything is foreshadowing.
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11-29-2010 21:20 by
jdpower
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I wanted to buy a keepsake to remind me of the great food this Thanksgiving, but I think this new chin will suffice.
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11-29-2010 21:19 by
jdpower
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These E*Trade babies probably annoy everyone in the bar when they play Golden Tee.
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11-29-2010 21:18 by
jdpower
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I had to use my AK this afternoon.. Still, it was a good day, as I only used it to scratch my back.
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11-29-2010 21:16 by
jdpower
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New study shows that too much Facebook leads to alcohol/drug abuse, which leads to neglecting one's imaginary sheep.
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11-15-2010 23:17 by
jdpower
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Fox News reports that Obama visits Indonesia, one of several foreign countries where he was born.
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11-15-2010 23:16 by
jdpower
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We need to talk, shuffle.. One Hall & Oates song is a great idea - but two in a row is completely unacceptable.
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11-15-2010 23:15 by
jdpower
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.
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11-15-2010 23:14 by
jdpower
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Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.
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11-15-2010 23:13 by
jdpower
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So we just spent $4 billion on an election about "too much spending?"
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11-04-2010 21:09 by
jdpower
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We may be falling behind China in some ways, but our underground drug tunnels are second to none. USA!!
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11-04-2010 21:06 by
jdpower
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In new tape, Bin Laden 'furious' that Brian Wilson has scarier beard.....
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10-29-2010 13:35 by
jdpower
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Vegan hipsters wear ironic milk mustaches.
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10-29-2010 13:34 by
jdpower
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"Paranormal Activity 2" - terrifying tale of suburban home that unexpectedly gets possessed by Bank of America.
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10-29-2010 13:33 by
jdpower
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The Clitaurus is the most mysterious Jurassic-era creature to most male archaeologists.
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10-29-2010 13:32 by
jdpower
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Today is National Oatmeal Day, or as Charlie Sheen calls it, National Cocaine and Strippers Day.
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10-29-2010 13:31 by
jdpower
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Only 9,000 more lies until Election Day.
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10-26-2010 11:28 by
jdpower
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