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I'm gonna assume my sisters email got hacked and that she has not really resorted to becoming a penis pump sales person.. 
still accidentaly writes 2009 instead of 2010... and this will probably continue until the end of February.
It's so hot in here Nelly and his crew just showed up.
Screw me if I'm wrong, but have we met before?
now currently accepting resumes for a Full and/or Part time girlfriend. All applicants may apply within. You will be contacted with a call back if you meet the appropriate requirements. Please send you # at FB mail. Thank you
Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.
Recently lost a penny. If you've seen it, please FedEx it overnight to me. It was copper in color and had a picture of a dude's profile on it.
i was trying to remember how to throw a boomerang and then it suddenly came back to me
life is such a fkn rollercoaster then it drops, but what should I scream for? this is my theme park. my mind shine even when my thoughts seem dark.
When the phone rings and you want to screw with the caller, just answer saying, "Bob's Orphanage, you make' em we take' em!"
This lady in front of me has more coupons than groceries!
Subway is being sued for lying about length?!?!?....Not the first time length has been lied about!
One time I farted so loud in my sleep they had to stop the bus...
Wayne Brady honoring black history month is like Nickelback inducting Zeppelin into the Rock n Roll hall of fame
When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking... Unless the answer is yes... In which case, can he videotape it?
Quick, have sex with me, I'll explain later.
If you need space - join 'NASA' Baby! XD
I can't believe all these single ladies in my area want to meet me! Must be all the free Ipads I keep winning
I agree with weed man down there. Everyone would be so much happier if they legalized it.
Corduroy pillows - they're making headlines! 