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Page: 38 of 41
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
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5
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07-13-2010 18:14 by
Joser
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0
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Officer, I was not "texting" while driving. I was "watching a movie on my iPad"
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07-13-2010 19:57 by
Joser
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Just before I die I'm going to get my hand stamped in case I want to come back in.
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07-13-2010 19:57 by
Joser
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Starting a sentence with "I don't want to sound creepy but" doesn't de-creepify the rest of the sentence.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by
Joser
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0
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Dude, if you really want Jessie's girl, find out her name.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by
Joser
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One hair on your head is not enough...but one hair in your food is too much.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by
Joser
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Neighbors have a leash on their tree, but they let the dog run free. Poor tree
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07-13-2010 19:59 by
Joser
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You know what would make this Pina Colada better? Cancun.
38
8
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07-13-2010 20:00 by
Joser
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1
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My neighbor just got one of those expensive new invisible fences. What a dumb@ss, I can still see him.
17
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07-13-2010 20:00 by
Joser
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I just googled cleveland & google said no matches found the city has disappeared
9
18
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07-13-2010 20:02 by
Joser
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1
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The good thing about being 6' 1" is that no one will see my bald patch... Unless you're using Google Earth...
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07-14-2010 17:09 by
Joser
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0
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Will too much skin lightening cream turn you invisible?
6
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07-14-2010 17:13 by
Joser
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Didn't lock my car last night and there was a homeless guy asleep in it this morning.
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07-14-2010 17:13 by
Joser
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I wish God wouldn't have hidden all of my talents so well...
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07-14-2010 17:16 by
Joser
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Why is it that when you get your girlfriend pregnant, everyone rubs her belly saying "congratulations"... but nobody rubs your d*ck and says "good job?"
68
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07-14-2010 17:17 by
Joser
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2
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Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?
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07-14-2010 17:18 by
Joser
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Filing a BP Damage Claims. Due to the Gulf disaster, instead of a vacation at the beach, we're going to visit my in-laws...
32
8
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07-14-2010 17:18 by
Joser
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0
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Ladies, I'd like to remind you that trying to play "hard to get" doesn't work when you're already "hard to want".
148
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07-14-2010 21:32 by
Joser
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Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
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07-14-2010 21:33 by
Joser
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Procrastination is like masturbation; it's a whole lotta fun until you realize you just screwed yourself.
27
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07-14-2010 21:36 by
Joser
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