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   messageicon Remember when our kids got sick we had to pick up the phone and tell all our friends? No! You don't because nobody did it. So knock that crap off Facebook.
←Rate | 03-23-2015 13:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm getting kind of tired always slowly raising my hand when someone asks, "Who does something like that?!?"
←Rate | 03-24-2015 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next Season on Survivor: Sixteen Congressmen try to hold down jobs in the private sector.
←Rate | 03-26-2015 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi, welcome to adulthood! You’ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep
←Rate | 04-08-2015 05:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If time is money.... Facebook owes me like...27 billion dollars...
←Rate | 04-14-2015 19:14 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your car took up two spaces,, So I tried to move it over with my key.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 23:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
←Rate | 05-12-2015 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
←Rate | 02-23-2014 15:35 by ImSoFunny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies….there is a difference between fake tanning and changing your entire ethnicity during the winter months.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching 'Night at the Roxbury.' "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
←Rate | 03-02-2014 13:17 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working.
←Rate | 03-21-2014 13:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask ,, " Notice anything different?'................. * works EVERY time
←Rate | 04-24-2014 10:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook taught me to mind everyone else's business.
←Rate | 05-13-2014 09:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm in a hurry at the bank and I get a really chatty cashier...What kind of gun is it, does it come in different colors, how many bullets does it hold???
←Rate | 05-14-2014 06:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t have a problem with idiots… I have a problem with the fact they they have an internet connection.
←Rate | 05-19-2014 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Say what you want about Canada but they successfully got rid of Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 12:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Observation: Any story that ends with "Anyway, it was really funny" is not really funny.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A ducks opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether or not I have any bread.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 07:58 by Freak Comments (4)  


   messageicon Dear DNA experts, please come up with a small insect that is genetically designed to annoy flies. Maybe even a small insect that bites mosquitoes. Thanks
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:24 by Joser Comments (0)  



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