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The new craze: Corduroy pillows! They're making head lines. 
If you listen to the new Coldplay album on very good speakers you can actually hear the band growing ovaries.
says if you want to feel skinny, hang out with a group of fat people.
thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories
thinks her Chia Pet has rabies
just Became a Fan of I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!
"Hi, Welcome to Abercrombie. Our sizes are; Small, X Small, Anorexic, Bulemic, and Malnourished...."
Aww c'mon...everybody knows ho is short for honey.
has a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it......a bed. Goodnight.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
could tell his parents hated him... his bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.
just checked in @ none of your god damn business
doesn't want none unless you got buns hun
We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
Pshh.. Nowadays I dont even trust people that dont have a FB
Celine Dion announced she's pregnant with twin boys. So this time next year she'll have 2 boys running around in diapers.....well 3 if you count her husband
I hate when my foot falls asleep... it usually means it's going to be up all night!
outside the bathroom you're an American. Inside the bathroom...European.
I'd let you talk more, but you're not as interesting as I am. 