BEGO Funny Status Messages

   She is so ugly, how does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she has an amazing personality and her boyfriend isnt a judgemental cu$t like you..

   The problem with some people is that they’re alive.

   There's no need to rush. If something's meant to be, it'll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

   I will rip my teeth out removing a price tag off a new shirt before I look for scissors.

   Surprise sex is the best sex. Unless you're in prison.

   Dont forget to pay your taxes this year so the Government can give it to people that dont work as hard as you...

   Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.

   Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.

   Just once in my life I'd like to see a liars pants actually catch on damn fire...

   I'd like Facebook to suggest: Since you've just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more  deadweight, like ……

   Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.

   I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."

   I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays.

   Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them

   I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name

   Starbucks really knows how to put the "fee" in coffee.

   its better to lose a lover then to love a loser

   Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention' as their Facebook status.

   Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.