Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all. 
I organized a three some last night....there were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time
That moment of panic when you clog someone else's toilet and you realize that don't have a plunger in the bathroom!!
Eeenie meenie miney moe, Bieber's got a camel toe.
I like to title my documents "The World" so I can feel great when I click Save
if The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.
As I, once again, found myself glued to the riveting action of Olympic Curling, I couldn't help but see a missed advertising opportunity. Swiffer WetJet should be sponsoring the hell out of this event.
Like Buttons: for people too lazy to post a comment.
This world is coming to an end.. Volcanoes, floods, earthquakes, Justin Bieber..
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
What is love? I don't even want an answer. I'm just ecstatic knowing that at least 90% of you thought "Baby, don't hurt me."
Welcome to the movie theater snack bar! We have some crunchy popcorn, noisey cups of ice, crinkly candy bags, maracas, bubble wrap, and a f*cking parrot! Now silence your cell phones.
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
What's the difference between Saturn and LeBron James? They're both big and full of gas, but at least Saturn has rings.
you know the recession is bad when wives are having sex with their husbands cause they can't afford batteries.
I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.
Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"
had lucky charms for breakfest. I take this day very seriously."
Copy and paste this as ur status, send it to 3 people in 10 minutes, absolutely nothing will happen! It works! Ive done it twice and both times nothing happened! 