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Do atheists refer to Godzilla as Nothingzilla? 
I performed at a charity event last night for women with no legs and I gotta tell ya fellas, that place was just crawling with ass…. Literally!
listening to Obama's "good news about the economy" speech was the best April fool's prank yet...
at the gym pretending to get a good workout.
Sorry I sneezed cocaine on your baby.
TSA told me to report any suspicious activity, and they got mad when I told them I saw a black guy leaving a tip at one of the restaurant
Ladies, finding a man is easy. Just chill with the insecurities and talk less. Keeping a man is easy too. Learn to cook and scuk his dcik…
Wouldn't it be awesome if in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - the baby turns out to be Blade. And Wesley Snipes slaughters all those teenage vampires.
CNN just asked Joe Biden when he was going to pick a running mate, He told them he thought he already had.
I hate When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
Hey have you ever been to london,,,,,its a fU%&king RIOT..!!!
TODAY ON MAURY with Romney Results: When It comes to America, You are not the President!
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Your Girlfriend's not listening to you? There's a slap for that.
My last child support paymen is due tomorrow............I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
I am dressing as an extinct species for Halloween...a hard working black man.
MyWife: Remove my dress..Good.. Now slowly unhook my bra.. Nice..Take off my panties.. Mmm great......NOW DON'T EVER WEAR MY CLOTHES AGAIN!
Instead of Bruno Mars performing at the Super bowl it should be Mick Mars and Motley Crue.
I have over 500 FB friends but only 6 actual friends. And, I don't even like 2 of them… 