Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon To the redheaded guy on CSI Miami...you're not Clint Eastwood so knock it off!!!
←Rate | 04-19-2011 21:25 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear cupcakes, the fact that you cover yourselves up with icing says alot about your self esteem. sincerely, muffins
←Rate | 04-27-2011 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment, when you wave to someone and it turns out they were waving to the person behind you.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 07:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you dream big and never give up, you can accomplish anything. Except licking your elbow, give up on that...
←Rate | 05-17-2011 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 09:00 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:46 by mauispuderweb Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a walking Economy. My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of the two is putting me into a deep depression!
←Rate | 08-26-2011 14:01 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple's new major social breakthrough - a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost between $499 - $799, depending on cup size and speakers. Nore more complaints about how he just stares at your chest and doesn't listen!
←Rate | 09-09-2011 05:22 by Fel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harry Potter can do all this $hit with magic, but he can't fix his poor vision?
←Rate | 04-07-2010 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon looks like I won't be updating my status today..
←Rate | 05-09-2010 13:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Stop looking at your phone. No one texted you...
←Rate | 05-24-2010 17:40 by Joser | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon commented on a woman's french manicure. "I like your tips" ...let's just say she didn't hear me correctly.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 15:51 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want 'cause you're not driving.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:38 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates that kids complain about video games for "Loading"... Back in my day we had to blow the sh*t out of games just to play'em and even then it was a gamble to work. So kids, Shut up!"
←Rate | 09-30-2010 01:18 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate that moment when you think to yourself, why did I just say that?
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:23 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This kid at the store is screaming so loud that I think I just became sterile.
←Rate | 12-18-2010 10:28 by Esoteric Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you REALLY want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2022.
←Rate | 01-04-2011 11:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Listen lady, if you don't want my balls on your rack then go bowl somewhere else!
←Rate | 01-09-2011 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are some people in this world... When they ask you for advice because they did something wrong... You just wanna say " If I were you... I would just go ahead and punch myself in the face for being that stupid to begin with..."
←Rate | 01-19-2011 16:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, in my world 2+2=5 because I like to add a little extra to make it interesting.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 13:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  



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