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Page: 33 of 41
The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
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07-05-2010 13:38 by
Joser
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So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?
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07-05-2010 13:39 by
Joser
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I am under: paid, pressure, followed, rated, the gun, the radar, the influence, the weather and the wrong impression. WTF
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07-05-2010 13:40 by
Joser
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You know it's a bad traffic jam when people start are sitting on top of their cars..
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07-05-2010 13:41 by
JOser
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I didn't call you crazy. All I said was, "you look like you might own 400 cats"
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07-05-2010 13:41 by
Joser
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Suffering from male pattern drunkenness.
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07-05-2010 13:42 by
Joser
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The squirrels are mocking me by doing that spiral-run-up-a-tree thing. They know I wish I could do that and how stupid I look when I try.
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07-05-2010 13:42 by
Joser
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"Grandpa's ghost hovers all around the house. It's scary!" "He's not dead! And that's his Hoveround power chair!" "Well, he smells dead."
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07-05-2010 13:45 by
Joser
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My front door mat actually says "Come back with a warrant."
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07-05-2010 13:46 by
Joser
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When your favorite song comes on and you excitedly say "Yo this is my jam!" You should know, I die a little bit inside for knowing you.
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07-05-2010 13:47 by
Joser
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I'm on the best diet ever. It's called the "I'm too hungover to eat" diet.
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07-06-2010 17:02 by
Joser
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I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance mama...
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07-06-2010 17:08 by
Joser
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I suspect my Girl might be OCD because she performs a few bizarre rituals. For example, she just made our bed. Who does that?
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07-06-2010 17:11 by
Joser
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"Leprosy can't be all bad. It has "rosy" in its name!" -super positive counselor at a leper colony
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07-06-2010 17:13 by
Joser
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"Hangover" makes it sounds like it's all done now. I'd like to propose the term "hanghappening".
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07-06-2010 17:17 by
Joser
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So yeah I just went outside and I'm pretty sure I won't be doing that again until at least October.
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07-06-2010 17:18 by
Joser
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beer doesn't make me post better Facebook Status updates, it just makes me not care what you think of them.
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07-06-2010 17:22 by
Joser
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I honestly don't care if you think I'm crazy. You're just a figment of my imagination anyway. Coffee:
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07-06-2010 17:23 by
Joser
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for every action there will be someone to have a complete overreaction.
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07-06-2010 17:24 by
Joser
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You post one little joke saying you won the lottery and Facebook finds you 1,347 new possible relatives.
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07-06-2010 17:25 by
Joser
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