flinnie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Proving other people wrong with your success is pretty selfish. Proving everyone else right by failing miserably shows you've got class
←Rate | 03-01-2012 00:58 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon February was $5 footlong month and black history month. Who is the evil genius behind that?
←Rate | 03-01-2012 01:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teachers are a bad influence on our kids. For one thing, some of them are nearly 40 and still in the third grade.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 05:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To pay for gas, I'm selling tickets that allow people to get lost in my eyes for 15 minutes.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 05:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 05:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Kermit, there aren't that many songs about rainbows.
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be fun to replace every EXIT sign in the world with ones that said ESCAPE. Also, they should flicker ominously
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weird to think we're just fifteen years away from Snooki being a grandmother
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Mama is gonna be so mad when she realizes how much drama I have saved for her.
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when you thought you'd have it all together by the time you were the age you are now?
←Rate | 03-04-2012 05:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, grocery store, if you're going to play Asia's "Heat of the Moment," there *will* be spontaneous produce aisle dancing.
←Rate | 03-04-2012 05:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how sometimes you accidentally drop food on the floor and eat it anyways? I just did that with soup
←Rate | 03-05-2012 04:58 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A baggage carousel is the least fun carousel ever.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 04:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is.
←Rate | 03-06-2012 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many kids don't know what it's like to enjoy a book the old-fashioned way (watching the movie version on VHS the night before a test).
←Rate | 03-06-2012 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever wants to hear monster mash this time of year
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never fails. Always behind the person filling out a mortgage at the ATM machine
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun way to freak out new parents on Facebook is to change your name to their baby's name & tag yourself in all of their baby's pictures.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it a dog finds great joy sticking his head out of a car going 55mph, but if you blow in his face he'll try and kill you
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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