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Theoretically if China went to the moon and knocked over our flag what would we do about it 
The election has been over nearly 2 weeks and this krap is still going on. Get back to the funny!
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn't."
The label says "Alcohol may intensify the effects of this medication." My question is, is this a warning or a suggestion?
Just because I disagree with you does not mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society.
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
I wonder if that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?"
If I was two faced, do you think I'd be wearing this one?
I don't have bad handwriting, I have my own Font =D
Walk a mile in my shoes... Then walk another mile... In fact, just keep the shoes and keep walking.
No matter how old I get, I will always be overly excited when I receive a hand written letter in the mail.
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
trying very hard to be the person her doctor medicates her to be.
Aren't the "good things that come to those who wait" really just leftovers from people who got there first?
"Side effects may include constipation or diarrhea." So what you're saying is I may or may not give a sh*t.
those bootyshorts really compliment your tiger stripes
wanted to burn some calories today, so I set fire to a fat kid.
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.
"hi, you are through to the incontinence hotline..........can you hold please?" 