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Do not be sad if people preferred another one on you .. It's hard to convince the monkey that strawberries sweeter than bananas 
Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.
looking for a job! "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job..."
wondering what humanitarians eat.
I'm not shy...I'm studying my prey.
Never hire a colorblind electrician.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
A lot of people have made decisions about what I should do with my life; unfortunately, it hasn't worked out too well for them.
Life is a b*tch, but she's totally "do-able!"
been used and has a lot of miles, but is in great condition...she's a classic ;)
1.Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
Times Like These Were made for Nudity.
thinks that I could have a very successful career a male model. Unfortunately, I would have to be the "before" picture. Eh, its a living.
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
just doesn't give a sh!t today, but just in case I start to, I'm starting a list...Your goal-->Stay off the list!
gots 99 problems and a fifth of rum. Problems solved.
just changed my boss's password on his computer to --> C : [Enter] # # #....yeah, I'm a smidge disgruntled...
An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
‘s computer is sooo slooow. It must be running Windows B.C.
Step one: admitting you have a problem. Um.....I have a problem... DON't wanna get out of bed. 