Vito Funny Status Messages

   If you ever wanna know the truth about something ask a kid or a drunk...or me after about 10 tonite.

   Why aren't martini glasses shaped so that they don't spill so easily on the express bus?

   thinks that Lightning is just God taking pictures of us

   Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my crotch.

   This weekends forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out

   It takes 2 to Tango, but a whole bunch of people to do the Electric Slide.

   can single-handedly make all your dreams come true...or I could use two hands.

   For Sale: (year you were born here) (your name here). Has a lot of mileage, but still rides like a dream.

   it's been 06837 days since the last time I gave a crap

   taking his 1st Karate lesson today @ the Ho Lee Chit Karate School

   upset because this Buns Of Steel video isn't what he thought it was gunna be. Stupid misleading covers.

   in the Smokin' Section lookin' for the hot women. Such a deceiving sign, there's none here

   Doesn't understand why the Mr. Softee guy didn't laugh when I suggested he try Viagra

   Can't find Sesame Street on his GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?