Eddy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If your Tupperware has "nutrition facts" on the side of the container, you might be a redneck
←Rate | 08-01-2017 01:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when you drop your iphone, remember that's gravity that makes the apple fall
←Rate | 07-30-2017 22:52 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was out there on a boat or scuba diving, It'd be "shart week" for me
←Rate | 07-27-2017 03:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget senior discounts..Oj can get free stuff just buy saying something like "I'd kill to have some coffee right now"
←Rate | 07-25-2017 21:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon we shoot off Chinese fireworks to celebrate our freedom from the British
←Rate | 07-02-2017 00:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon people either say i'm "pretty funny" or "pretty smart" but they always forget the word "and"
←Rate | 06-07-2017 17:43 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon DUI of the Tiger
←Rate | 06-01-2017 02:03 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon rubix cube: the original fidget toy
←Rate | 06-01-2017 02:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter
←Rate | 05-07-2017 04:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I opened up this app & just keep swiping right at all the sexy pictures...I can't believe how many selfies I have stored in my pictures
←Rate | 04-25-2017 03:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon raisins....nonalcoholic box of wine
←Rate | 04-20-2017 00:10 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon been single for so long I should change my name to "Kraft"
←Rate | 03-31-2017 22:34 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon a president with sex tapes...gee, I'm glad we didn't put a Clinton in office again
←Rate | 03-25-2017 00:58 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't forget tonight we time travel without a T.A.R.D.I.S
←Rate | 03-11-2017 21:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I go to the store looking for paper towel, I feel like a BOUNTY hunter
←Rate | 03-09-2017 20:42 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon irony...Valentine's Day is abbreviated as "VD"
←Rate | 02-14-2017 01:26 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon pro tip....today invest in buying Energizer & Duracell stocks
←Rate | 02-14-2017 00:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon IKEA is just adult LEGO sets
←Rate | 02-10-2017 22:35 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my yard is so white it got nominated for an Academy Award
←Rate | 01-07-2017 00:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wake up feeling like a golden statue....everyone else is the pigeons
←Rate | 01-04-2017 03:12 by Eddy Comments (1)  



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