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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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20mph school zones are only making our children's reaction time worse.
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06-15-2015 13:27 by
Baddie
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0
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Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.
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06-04-2015 13:45 by
Baddie
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My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around.
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05-22-2015 12:16 by
Baddie
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Why did humans invent hell, when there are enough real things to be scared of, like emotional commitment, marriage and a woman on her period.
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05-09-2015 12:53 by
Baddie
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So now people are purposely sucking on cups to enlarge their lips. What more is the apocalypse waiting for?
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04-23-2015 15:05 by
Baddie
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Technically, I don't have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I'm not doing anything.
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04-23-2015 14:50 by
Baddie
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the only reason Kanye likes Kim's ass all oiled up is because he can see his own reflection in it.
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04-06-2015 11:36 by
Baddie
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0
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I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said "WHERE ?"
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04-02-2015 12:17 by
Baddie
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Tell me I drink too much so I can drink about that too.
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03-31-2015 13:35 by
Baddie
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Sorry I stopped, dropped and rolled when you told me you loved me.
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03-21-2015 13:08 by
Baddie
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Last I heard, my guardian angel was in the ER with alcohol poisoning.
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03-13-2015 12:48 by
Baddie
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I'm so excited to not hear from you again tomorrow.
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03-12-2015 00:28 by
Baddie
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No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket.
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02-26-2015 12:34 by
Baddie
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The grass is greener on the other side because my neighbors are Mexican.
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02-25-2015 11:18 by
Baddie
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Stupid cats stealing all our women.
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02-14-2015 12:44 by
Baddie
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Me crazy? If it wasn't so hard to get back up on this unicorn, I'd so b*tch-slap you
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02-14-2015 12:21 by
Baddie
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0
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I used to care but I take a pill for that now.
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02-14-2015 12:08 by
Baddie
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I'm happy Bruce Jenner is transitioning into a woman but I'd be even happier if his stepdaughters transitioned into oblivion
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02-08-2015 10:03 by
Baddie
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0
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don't go outside, people talk to you. i'm still shaking.
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02-07-2015 14:18 by
Baddie
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0
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My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I'm just glad to be involved.
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02-07-2015 11:22 by
Baddie
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