Vito Funny Status Messages

   Drinking Heinekin Light and Eating Fat Free Doritos. Gotta get ready for beach season!

   thinks that Lightning is just God taking pictures of us

   If you ever wanna know the truth about something ask a kid or a drunk...or me after about 10 tonite.

   I caught myself updating my Facebook status in my sleep & I think I actually would've posted it if the rumble strips on the highway didn't wake me up first.

   just made pretend I was being chased by murderers to see how long it would take me to open the door if it was really happening...yeah I woulda died

   Forgot to take the fortune out of my fortune cookie out before I ate it. Now I wont know what my fortune is for about an hour or so.

   Every day is Fat Tuesday for me because I'm Fat =(

   upset because this Buns Of Steel video isn't what he thought it was gunna be. Stupid misleading covers.

   I just realized I make the same noises when I eat pizza that I do during my "happy time"

   Doesn't understand why the Mr. Softee guy didn't laugh when I suggested he try Viagra

   I just bumped into a guy wearing a camouflage jacket. I really didn't see him.

   I just told a lie and now my pants feel warm. I hope they dont catch fire!

   Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my crotch.

   What's the right age to tell a highway he was adopted? Wont be long til he realizes he doesn't look anything like me