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   messageicon "They're like a sponge at this age" I say to the parents of the baby I'm using to scrub dishes with.
←Rate | 09-07-2014 16:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when my foot falls asleep and I have to kick someone in the face to wake it up.
←Rate | 09-09-2014 08:23 by Lip Rippin Rooster Comments (0)  


   messageicon You laugh at me because I'm different but I laugh at you because you're all the same.
←Rate | 12-30-2014 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
←Rate | 01-24-2015 07:12 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon ESPN reports that Manny Pacquiao has filed sexual harassment and inappropriate touching charges against Floyd Mayweather for all the hugging and grabbing from Saturday night's fight.
←Rate | 05-04-2015 13:27 by Tom Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: The 2013 Boston Red Sox have more beard weight than any team in Major League Baseball history.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 22:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally figured out the answer to that old chicken and the egg question...the rooster.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:06 by BoBinator Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got divorce. He spend 27 years in prison getting tortured and beaten everyday of his life for 27 years. He got out of jail, spent 6 months with his wife, and said. I CANT TAKE THIS SHI%
←Rate | 12-13-2013 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days, my keys, and my favorite heels.
←Rate | 07-06-2015 16:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Umm. . . Unless your muzlim, women in the USA had the right to vote in the 1920's
←Rate | 07-23-2015 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people don't know where "to" put quotation marks.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:31 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Progressives are so used to f---ing everything up they need their own insurance company......
←Rate | 03-25-2016 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 6 yr old: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check?...Me:Umm, I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
←Rate | 03-29-2014 18:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the Macys Thanksgiving day parade. Where you can watch your favorite stars lipsync to their hit songs!
←Rate | 11-26-2009 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon on a spinny chair... now you see me... now you don't... now you see me... now you don't...and I get a paycheck for doing this lol
←Rate | 08-03-2010 20:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently each year, more people get killed by donkeys than in aeroplane crashes.So to summarize, if you ever see a donkey on an aeroplane, you're in f*cking trouble.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 13:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Name is Bond, Uni-Bond. I'm here to fill your crack!
←Rate | 10-21-2010 11:39 by @realgraffix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess what? I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
←Rate | 11-05-2010 19:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's illegal to text and drive, but it's not against the law to work on ur laptop whilest driving. Thanks policeman for making that clear.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 18:08 by @daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel sorry for people who don't drink; when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 14:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  



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