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it's my first american thanksgiving how many guns do I bring? 
Firefox; the best browser to download Google's YOUTUBE videos.
Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.
If you're smart, handsome with a good personality you can get any girl except a black one.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Thanks to Obama i'm at the supermarket buying my Marie Calender Thanksgiving Turkey dinner.
Did you guys hear about the Italian atheist? He doesn't believe in the God-father....
looking at a Justin Bieber pic and beating my stuff like it owed me money! She is hot
finding the cure for hunger.
Was up all night wondering where the sun had gone. Then it dawned on me
The homeless guy with the golden voice was offered a job by the Cleveland Cavaliers.
thought he had a good tan... until he took a shower!
at the ATM the other day and an old lady approached and asked me to help check her balance.....So I pushed her
A Lion Would Never Cheat on His Wife, But a Tiger Wood !!!
Why the hell did you delete the celebrities getting more than soldiers you piece of sh*t?
My friend has just started his own business manufacturing landmines that look like prayer mats. Apparently, prophets are going through the roof.
Apple CEO just came out today. I guess this explains why iPhone 6 bends.
The person who invented the online software for your parents to see your grades is a real douchebag and must be assassinated.
Success woke me up, Motivation made me Breakfast, Destiny gave me my Agenda and the Lord gave me his Blessings:-)
VMA recap: Lady GaGa came in as a man. Nicki Minaj came as Lady GaGa, and Jay-z came in Beyonce 