Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
can tell you the 5 most unappealing words in the English language... Used Hot Tub For Sale. 
why is it when there is a 50-50 chance of doing something right, 90% of the time you do it wrong
I am relaxed and its FREAKNG me out !!!!!!
So a whale killed it's trainer? Sounds like... an orca-strated murder.
I use Facebook for the people I know. I use Twitter for the people I wish I knew.
wondering if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
So where did they get the flux capaciter for the hot tub anyways?
I had to take my paycheck to the bank. It was too little to go all by itself.
I don't hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
Name brands really are better... For instance, I just found out that a "Tide pen" will work much better on a stain, then a regular pen.
Life is like toilet paper, your either on a roll or taking $hit from an a$$hole.
There is a big difference between a boy and a girl when the sy "I went through a whole box of tissue watching a movie".
I'm actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement.
It would be a good day if one could afford to even shoot their Ak ;)
My favorite part of Thanksgiving day is when I stuff the Bird. My wife enjoys it too but wishes I'd find another nickname for her lady parts.
Its almost that time kids...Does everyone have their plungers ready?
FUN PRANK: Purchase any item at a CVS,, and then toilet paper the whole store with your receipt...... TWICE
I have to be on antibiotics for the next week for an infection. Meanwhile, my yogurt provides a daily dose of probiotics. Now the antibiotics and probiotics will be waging a 7 day Biotic War for control of my insides.
Maury would be out of business had the polygraph never been invented.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation. 