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If people revolted and burned things every time Jesus was insulted then this world would be in ruins. So whats so special about this Prophet Mohammed idiot? 
Life is too short to remove the USB drive safely
spinning in his new office chair so I am away, now I am back, away again and back.
.... I was watching th news tonite .... I thought I was watching the violent Black Friday shopping mayhem .... turns out it was just the Black Lives Matter protests .... ....
My NRA firearms Instructor beats your demo rapist movie producer or former President
Even if Mexico wins, they still lose, because they have to go back to Mexico...
Somewhere right now in the hood, someone is yelling "Domino Mother F**ker!"
My wife said I'm an idiot who can't do the simplest of things right. So I packed her bags and left.
My wife said, "I want you to toast some bread for me." So I raised my wine glass and said, "To bread!"
Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had..
If you're homophobic, it's important to remember that they're more afraid of you than you are of them
Todays my Grandmas birthday, but she doesnt have a cell phone for me to text or a facebook wall for me to write on, what do I do?
While your at camp for deer season, I'm out hunting the beaver you left behind.
Wirtten on Hand dryer in Airport: Press & wait for a message from the President.
it too much to ask that the ATM spit out an extra $20 every now and again?
Deleting your facebook is like running away from home. `You`re just doing it for attention and you'll be back in an hour`.
How many donut holes constitute a serving?... Please say 33. Please say 33..... I mean 34. Please say 34.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
If a man speaks his mind in a forest, and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?
I used a sta tus I stole from here that had 8 L IKES, but on my page it only got 2 L IKES. Can I get a refund? 