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The less people you chill with, the less drama you deal with. 
The ads on the right-hand side of my screen are for Meth-awareness, 'Get Yourself Tested' & Buy or lease a new Hummer this Christmas...Great so, Facebook has catagorized me as a disease-infested, drug-loving slut that dosen't care about the environment???
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
So its the day after christmas. boxing day for some; discount shopping to others; toilet blow out day for all who stuff the sh*t out of there bellys at that family member house! Good luck and hang in there.
Every time someone asks me for directions, I navigate them to the nearest bar or strip club. That will teach them to buy a GPS.
Figure out what you want otherwise others will just string you along to accomplish what THEY want.
Ordered a plunger and a snare drum on Amazon so next time you order one and it recommends the other, thank me
Just because you change a earlier post from Mom to Dad or Brother to Sister doesn't make it any funnier !!
I almost got raped in jail once. My family takes Monopoly way too seriously.
Hillary's poll numbers are dropping faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park
R.I.P. Janet Reno. But at least she'll still be voting for Hillary.
..... "The system is rigged!!!" ------ Hillary Clinton.
This, too, shall suck.
Due to political correctness, "rapists" will now be called "unapproved lovers."
I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa....Well I think it is a scam!!! Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving!!!!
Good lord if you just have to reissue a 20 year old joke, at least get the punchline correct. It's Kareema Wheat, not Kareem of Wheat. God Almighty!
Would it be smart for a department store to promise “we won’t check to see if you paid!” .... I wonder how long they would stay in business? .... Anyways, That's how the American Voter registration works.
Now Falcons fans feel like Hillary supporters felt like on election night
uh excuse me, I'm just here looking for the Democratic Restroom. 