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3/17/2011 - 3/20/11 RIP - My NCAA Tournament Bracket 
It's better to have a gun and not need it than to not have a gun and need it
She's fat, I'm drunk, IT'S ON!
that a person who really loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everoyone else still believes in the smile on your face
Never recycle a past relationship. Because if it didn't work out before, what makes you think it would this time?
Lindsay Lohan is so dumb that she wanted to move to Afghanistan......because she heard girls could get stoned there.
. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
how about a game of "just the tip"??
I would kill the sexiest person on earth but suicide is a crime
Shout out to all the KKK members who have a birthday in Black History month and a birthday on the same day as MLK.
When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity.When many people suffer from delusion, it is called religion....
I don't know what's more awkward, Answering Dora, Or sitting there in total silence while she stares at you..
It's not embarrassing that you're still writing 2014 on your checks... What you should be ashamed of, is that you still write checks.
Confucius say: Woman who keep husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Don't worry about the bullet that has your name on it. Worry about the one that says "To Whom it May Concern."
The first rule of Women's fight club is don't tell anyone what you're mad about or why you're fighting
Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
If your face doesn't look like a glazed donut ..your doing it wrong.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
The difference between love and lust is one letter: hotel vs. motel 