Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
ust once I wanna see one of these food network hosts taste their dish they just made and freak out and say how horrible it tastes. Just once! 
thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown
It's not the minutes that we spend sitting at the table that puts on weight. It's the seconds.
No unwilling people were harmed during the making of this status. Viewer discretion is advised
begining to think Facebook has Body dysmorphic disorder, seriously enough with the changes!!! We liked you the way you were!!!
Who told you, you were special? The lady driving that little bus?
thinks he is going to adopt an African child, but he isn't going to be like Angelina Jolie and just adopt willy nilly, if he goes over there, he is coming back with a wide receiver or running back.
cant help but wonder when they'll start making porn in 3D, since that seems to be the new fad with movies.
can be found at The Last house on the left...
˙sƃuıɥʇ uo ǝʌıʇɔǝdsɹǝd ɹǝɥ ƃuıƃuɐɥɔ sı
Nothing funnier than a pissed off mall cop on a Segway. With those goofy helmets on, I just can't take them seriously.
doing The Safety Dance while holding scissors. I'm such a rebel.
I'll take SPORTS SUPERSTARS for $1000 Alex. The answer: Allen Iverson and Randy Moss. *buzzes in* Who are 'people that no one wants on their team anymore?'
I used to care but now I take a pill for that...
swears he heard a chinese say something along the lines: "Are you harbouring a fugitive?" These are the exact words: Hu Yu Hai Ding?
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance mama...
It feels good not to have any feelings.
I'm not drunk... I'm just tired from drinking all day!
worried that my wife (when I'm dead) will sell my fishing gear for what I said I paid for it.
Cell phones should be able to be solar charged 