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Privilege is being given extra consideration based on what box you check for race on your college application. 
A cat jumps into a cab and yells, “Follow that red dot!”
"Don't stop bereaving."..............Karaoke singer at a Japanese funeral..
A gynaecologist is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure.
I just named my whiskey "Titanic" because it goes down better with ice.
Ever since my cell phone fell in to the toilet, I've been getting real sh*tty reception...
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
not looking for a slut....just someone with slut-like tendencies.....
I want you all to know that no trees were harmed in the production of this message. However, a rather large number of electrons were somewhat inconvenienced….
We were strangers when we met, now were even stranger!!
Don't act sexist! B$tches hate that!
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
To all the people who said that I'd never be able to write a joke about Bukkake: haha, in your face!
So, I'm at the crossroads & Bone Thugs N Harmony is clearly not here... What a waste of time, and gas.
Dang, these gas prices are higher than Charlie Sheen.
Note to self: That was way to much beer!
pulled more tail then a slow kid at a petting zoo.
Why cant the apocalypse be sunday I have so much crap to do saturday..!!!!
You've really got to hand it to short people. Because they often can't reach it.
Nasa found a planet that has two suns. The fact that it's named Kepler-16b instead of Tatooine is a travesty. I bet Lucas threatened to sue. 