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thinks sometimes we need to stop analysing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out how we feel, stop deciding what we want and just see what happens… 
wants all his friends to know that your "save the endangered chipmunks or whatever" petition with 5000 signatures stops in my Inbox. You will never see your precious little email again!
I have kleptomania. When it gets really bad, I take something for it.
No one wasted their superhero/villain potential quite like Zack Morris and his ability to Freeze Time.
Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.
Aren't you ever tired of having yourself around??
Never weed wack poison ivy in the nude.
People get way too dramatic when telling a waiter they haven't left room for desert.
I wonder if stalking your stalker bothers them?
woke up this morning with an awful hangover and see that there are a lot of male and female cartoon character complaining of a wild night and drunken blackouts. I predict some pretty goofy lookin' babies in 9 months!
Working on the art of the classic "Farmer Blow" technique. Figure I can save a lot of money on tissues with allergy season here.
thinks that "beer" might be the real magic word. Forget about "please" (unless, of course, it is following "beer"...)
if there was any truth in advertising the new KFC Double Down would be called the Double Bypass
wonders if the neighbors realize just how slow their Internet is...geezus I've been trying to watch 48 hours mystery for the last 2 hours!
whew... stocks drop 900 points..... wish it were like a married woman and rarely went down
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
1 Hairspray and 2 tons of make up still dont replace brain!!!
Does a coffin come with a life time guarantee?
Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one. 