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Why the hell do birds wake up so early? They dont have to work, obviously anything they do have to do isnt time sensitive and yet at 5am they're chirping like crazy, honestly I think they just like messin' with us. 
You guys, hear, about these, rogue commas, going around?
gonna wear his camouflage underwear, to support my troops.
Some things are meant to be just once in a life time. -Sincerely, One Night Stand
I have the cape... I make whoosh noises...
When I was a kid, I never wore my helmet on the special bus, because it impeded my window licking abilities.
i dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
After Watching Jersey Shore I wonder to myself is this all that MTV has Left???
no matter how you spell Gaddafi , it still spells DENIAL
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Don't trade what you want most for what you want now.
I take context out of things.
My girlfriend and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
I would shoot you, but why end your misery.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
standing in line at Target and just received a dirty look from the woman in front of him, after he started dancing to her obnoxiously loud "Sex and The City"-theme ringtone.
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
wishing I could hit CTL ± ALT ± DEL ± and start today all over!!!
just came to the conclusion that 50% of the poeople on my facebook page are nothing but virtual stalkers!!!!!
A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster. 