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[ ] single [ ] taken [x] dating imaginary person, that's perfect for me 
Am online on facebook only in morning, afternoon, evening and night.. otherwise am busy in study.
i was sick of partying and thought i'll take a break for few days but this Osama just gave me a reason to party again.. tonight i'll have Osama Shots
may not be the best, but I'm the best I've ever seen
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody else is reading it?
if you let one of those dancing roadside Statues of Liberty do your taxes... your refund will be a hammer and a bag of tangerines.
After everything I've been through.... This can't possibly be "as real as it gets"!
i dont care how much ice cream you have your not gonna put that banana there.
An apple a day keeps everyone away, if you can only throw it hard enough.
Psychiatric labels are nice way of sugar coating the fact that some people are just plain a$$holes.
It's hard to bury the past when you keep digging up old memories.
My coffee pot screamed my name this morning as it spurted its hot liquid inside the carafe.
You know you’re ugly, when you can’t even get poked on FB.
Social media is perfect when you're feeling sorry for yourself and your desire is to feel worse.
Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.
A man's home is his castle. Untill the queen comes home.
Don't change to get people to like you. Be your self and they will respect you.
The only way a person can lose is if he doesn't try and according to my wife, I'm one of the most trying person she has ever known.
Man to a super cute air hostess : Whats your name? Air Hostess: Eva Benz Man: Lovely name, any relationship with Mercedes Benz? Air Hostess: Our Maintenance cost is the same
It's a good thing Apple wasn't in charge of Calender years. Otheriwise We'd all be expecting 2018 and get 2018S instead 