Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
having a "Who the hell is Mel Kiper? My mailman knows more about the draft than he does." moment ! 
going to make an app called Stephville that way people can gift me items that I need around the house.
Someone said I met Jim Beam last night but I don't recall.
Why do they put slow cashiers on the speedy checkouts?
I hate it when at the drive thru they give you 2 packs of sauce sauce for a 10 nuggets, but 2 packs of ketchup for a large fry! WTF?!
almost drowned in the shower yesterday, so today I have my life jacket and the voices and I have rehearsed what to do in case of an emergency
[ ] single [ ] taken [x] dating imaginary person, that's perfect for me
Am online on facebook only in morning, afternoon, evening and night.. otherwise am busy in study.
i was sick of partying and thought i'll take a break for few days but this Osama just gave me a reason to party again.. tonight i'll have Osama Shots
may not be the best, but I'm the best I've ever seen
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody else is reading it?
if you let one of those dancing roadside Statues of Liberty do your taxes... your refund will be a hammer and a bag of tangerines.
After everything I've been through.... This can't possibly be "as real as it gets"!
i dont care how much ice cream you have your not gonna put that banana there.
An apple a day keeps everyone away, if you can only throw it hard enough.
Psychiatric labels are nice way of sugar coating the fact that some people are just plain a$$holes.
It's hard to bury the past when you keep digging up old memories.
Why do Troubleshooting Guides always have a resolution for every problem except the one you are having?
Diet Journal, day 99: Going well. Lost 4 lbs already and the neighbor's daschunds are looking less like chocolate eclairs...
I did a little studying on Einstein's theory of relativity. I discovered that I am not related to him. . . 