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Page: 25 of 33
Just had a Popsicle and the riddle was: "Q: What's purple and cold and filled with the spit of underpaid Popsicle writers?"
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04-28-2012 07:08 by
flinnie
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We forget that it was Ben Franklin who said fish and guests smell after three days, and that Ben Franklin was a notorious guest murderer.
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04-28-2012 07:05 by
flinnie
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If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. Everybody else, write a novel about your childhood.
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04-28-2012 07:05 by
flinnie
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I think a funny thing to do is call "How's My Driving" numbers on the backs of trucks and yell, "Well for starters GET OFF THE PHONE!"
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04-28-2012 07:04 by
flinnie
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Struggling with Impostor Syndrome a lot lately. I guess I just need to relax, take a breath, and remind myself that my father was the Czar.
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04-28-2012 07:01 by
flinnie
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My coworkers don't engage me in a lot of water cooler chit-chat, but it may be because my favorite topic is "water cooler spigot bacteria."
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04-28-2012 07:00 by
flinnie
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I think we'd all be a lot cooler with dying if the five stages were denial, anger, bargaining, pop-locking, acceptance.
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04-28-2012 06:56 by
flinnie
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Time for you children of the 80s to feel old. Sheena Easton turns 53 yesterday. Think about that while you are on the morning train.
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04-28-2012 06:52 by
flinnie
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I have a confession to make to all the rappers out there: I waved my hands in the air and I cared a little bit.
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04-28-2012 06:37 by
flinnie
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My son just did something so terrible in his diaper that it has shaken my belief in God
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04-28-2012 06:32 by
flinnie
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No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
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04-28-2012 06:26 by
flinnie
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Just once I would like to see an ultimate fighting montage set to Olivia Newton John's song Physical.
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04-27-2012 06:09 by
flinnie
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20 years later, members of Bell Biv Devoe are still adamant about not trusting a big butt and a smile.
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04-27-2012 06:08 by
flinnie
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If I had a time machine I'd show Albert Einstein the Internet and ruin everything.
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04-27-2012 06:07 by
flinnie
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When you get angry start counting to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that.
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04-27-2012 05:56 by
flinnie
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Never trust a homeless guy selling homemade lemonade, just saying.
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04-27-2012 05:56 by
flinnie
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A study found that trying on swimsuits made women feel objectified. Having a researcher in the changing room probably didn't help either.
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04-27-2012 05:55 by
flinnie
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I looked in the bathroom mirror this morning and saw my Dad looking back at me. We should stop taking baths together.
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04-27-2012 05:55 by
flinnie
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Charles Taylor might very well be guilty of war crimes, but he does make a fine sneaker
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04-27-2012 05:54 by
flinnie
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Imperial units should only be used when measuring general levels of rebel scum.
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04-27-2012 05:53 by
flinnie
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