Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 15:30 by baldweezy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bladder: Nature's alarm clock. Snooze button not as reliable, though
←Rate | 04-07-2010 14:36 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon got a leaflet asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the 3rd world......I laughed so hard...if they can fit into my clothes then they are not starving
←Rate | 05-13-2010 03:35 by Jackie Patchett Comments (0)  


   messageicon Handle every situation like a dog.If you can't eat it or hump it,then p*ss on it and walk away.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 13:48 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).
←Rate | 12-03-2010 06:49 by TheChuckster Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into own hands.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 20:48 by Jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon In every successful relationship the MAN always has the last word - "Yes Dear."
←Rate | 09-30-2010 01:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'd go to clubs, I'd spend half the time texting people who weren't there. Eventually I realized I could just send those texts from home.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 09:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon who had the bright idea of putting an "s" in the word lisp?
←Rate | 12-12-2009 22:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loving how the voice in her head GETS LOUDER WHEN SHE USES CAPS LOCK!
←Rate | 01-12-2010 14:05 by kayt_969@hotmail.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?
←Rate | 02-24-2010 16:53 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in....
←Rate | 03-15-2010 20:09 by Y.P Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?
←Rate | 03-23-2010 19:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon feeling sofa king great today!!!!!
←Rate | 04-02-2010 17:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope Gryffindor wins the World Cup.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 13:23 by l33t Comments (0)  


   messageicon Officer, I was not "texting" while driving. I was "watching a movie on my iPad"
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reverse side also has a reverse side?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 23:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love bald men with no dress sense that make me feel bad about myself....I swear I will marry one...ok?
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:45 Comments (1)  


   messageicon There's a new social networking site for girls with great bodies but not so great faces. It's called Butterfacebook
←Rate | 08-19-2010 11:34 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Thinking that they need to change the name from child support to lifestyle support...
←Rate | 08-19-2010 15:24 by Logan.T Comments (2)  



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