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HECK .... If she can get away with this Crap NOW ...... Just think what she could get away with as President!!! Seriously ..... If you are really serious about your own future .... and the future of this nation ...... THINK ABOUT IT!!! 
My status updates are now 100% gluten free.
Even Clint Eastwood's chair is refusing to appear at the Republican National Convention.
I'd give five bucks to hear Melania say, "Moose and Squirrel"...
[Kool-Aid Man watching the presidential election].. I dare you to build that wall, you son of a b**
I wonder what kids today are going to tell their kids. 'Yeah. it was rough back then. I didn't get a smartphone til 4th grade and sometimes the wifi didn't work upstairs.'
Can you imagine anything more depressing than going to a petting zoo owned by MC Hammer.
Waitress: ‘Do you have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘Yes. What kind of font is this?’
I'm so hungry I could eat a farm-raised, grass-fed, free-range, fair trade, organic, no-added antibiotics or hormones horse.
Feeling sorry for cannibals who are social distancing. No handshakes… just cold shoulders.
When can I start eating bats again.
If we continue wearing these masks for another year kids will start to think that a nose is a private part
Breasts, great on chicks, AND turkeys
Women are magicians, they can change anything into an argument.
I try to let women think I'm mysterious and not hard up....that's why I wait a good 45 seconds before I Poke someone back on facebook.
If I am home alone, there's a 96% chance I'm naked.
I've never approached even 10% of Aerosmith's level of excitement that a dude looks like a lady.
You know you've done a great job when somebody you DON'T know LIKEs your status.
Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you'd like to put in on Monday.
I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber? 