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0 = The amount of care about your Candy Crush progress. 
EX means ..'' thanks for the EXperience , your time has EXpired , now EXit in my life . !
Summary of everyone's Facebook timeline: 1. born 2. things got worse
Making me doubt myself was your first mistake. Underestimating me will be your last.
57. Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed
can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...
wondering why baby outfits have pockets? You can just imagine your 8 month old saying "yep fag's, phone, i-pod, keys ... ready to go."
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."
Time flies when you throw your alarm clock across the room.
Being real is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are... you aren't.
you shouldn't let fear keep you from doing what's right.
Jogging backwards because I'm trying to gain a little weight
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
I lost my mood ring...I'm not sure how I feel about that...
doesn't think you should put the pedal to the medal in that Toyota.
Women are like roads: the more curves they have,the more dangerous they are.
If we really knew exactly what we were getting into when we decided to have kids, I'm pretty sure we'd be screwed as a species.
believes Jimmy Buffet said it best. . . "Why dont we get drunk and screw?" Happy St. Patrick's and Hump Day everyone!!!
thinks the hackers should've tried a little harder when trying to remove Twitter from this universe
Think about yesterday as if it'll never come back; Live your day as if you'll die tomorrow; and plan ur tomorrow as if u`ll live forever.. 