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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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If there are no snacks, don’t even bother inviting me to your orgy.
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5
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01-17-2019 12:20 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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The worst part about watching movies at the cinemas is not knowing how much time you have left until the end of the movie.
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01-07-2019 22:03 by
Kisstopher707
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My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.
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01-02-2019 09:40 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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Show dominance on an airplane by calling the flight attendants bartenders.
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01-02-2019 09:38 by
Kisstopher707
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I like being invited to things, it’s the showing up that bothers me.
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12-23-2018 15:17 by
Kisstopher707
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True love means never having to pick just one hole.
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12-21-2018 09:52 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
20
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12-21-2018 09:34 by
Kisstopher707
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Don't tell me what type of pill it is. I like to be surprised.
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12-19-2018 10:13 by
Kisstopher707
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So what are we being offended by today? Sorry I missed the morning briefing.
23
4
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12-17-2018 14:26 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING????
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12-16-2018 09:44 by
Kisstopher707
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What do people who send out family Christmas cards want from us?
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12-16-2018 09:35 by
Kisstopher707
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Scientists need to put cancer aside and find a cure for country music first.
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12-16-2018 08:29 by
Kisstopher707
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I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
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12-13-2018 13:11 by
Kisstopher707
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"did I catch you at a bad time?" "yeah, I'm awake and sober"
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12-09-2018 09:32 by
Kisstopher707
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I have decided to host the Oscars
17
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12-09-2018 09:12 by
Kisstopher707
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[first day as a 911 operator] me: nine hundred and eleven what is your emergency
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12-09-2018 09:09 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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A Facebook stranger doesn’t like my opinion. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 😂
27
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12-07-2018 22:51 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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It’s hard to stay humble when someone’s dog chooses you over them.
27
4
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12-04-2018 14:01 by
Kisstopher707
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I don't care what anybody else says. "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch" is the greatest diss track ever written.
8
6
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12-03-2018 13:58 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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Ever hate someone so much you decide to start eating healthy just so you can watch them die first?
28
4
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12-02-2018 12:24 by
Kisstopher707
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