Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Now I totally understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up!
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with the general public is that it's made up of people.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You put the stress in mistress.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 01:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my best ideas involve jail time.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 04:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 05:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm a woman, not a sex object" - said a woman to herself as she put on a push-up bra.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 09:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is ten times better without condoms. But life is about 10 times better without baby mammas!
←Rate | 06-14-2013 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 16:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a good reason why they call it XBOX ONE; You take ONE look at it and go and buy yourself a PS4!
←Rate | 06-16-2013 05:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My suicide note will probably just be my phone left unlocked
←Rate | 06-16-2013 10:10 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight around here." - Corporate ants.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got 0 problems and denial is one!
←Rate | 06-19-2013 12:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to welcome visitors to my home with a warm, and sincere 'Goodbye'.
←Rate | 06-19-2013 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have some people struggling with obesity problems, while others are struggling with poverty and starvation. Sh*t like this is why Jesus is not coming back during our lifetime until we get our act together.
←Rate | 06-25-2013 12:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook keeps offering to find my friends for me. Good luck, Facebook! See if you can find my dad while you're at it.
←Rate | 06-25-2013 13:02 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships these days are like birthdays; once the cake is eaten, the party's over!
←Rate | 06-26-2013 06:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Avoid sharing your alcohol, by surrounding yourself with people that don't drink.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 12:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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