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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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The problem with the general public is that it's made up of people.
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06-06-2013 12:29 by
Kisstopher707
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My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
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06-06-2013 12:40 by
Kisstopher707
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You put the stress in mistress.
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06-07-2013 01:45 by
Kisstopher707
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All of my best ideas involve jail time.
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06-07-2013 02:35 by
Kisstopher707
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I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
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06-07-2013 05:53 by
Kisstopher707
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Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook.
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06-07-2013 06:13 by
Kisstopher707
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"I'm a woman, not a sex object" - said a woman to herself as she put on a push-up bra.
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06-13-2013 09:27 by
Kisstopher707
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Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
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06-15-2013 16:20 by
Kisstopher707
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There is a good reason why they call it XBOX ONE; You take ONE look at it and go and buy yourself a PS4!
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06-16-2013 05:22 by
Kisstopher707
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My suicide note will probably just be my phone left unlocked
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06-16-2013 10:10 by
Kisstopher707
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"We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight around here." - Corporate ants.
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06-18-2013 13:18 by
Kisstopher707
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I got 0 problems and denial is one!
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06-19-2013 12:16 by
Kisstopher707
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I like to welcome visitors to my home with a warm, and sincere 'Goodbye'.
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06-19-2013 14:17 by
Kisstopher707
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We have some people struggling with obesity problems, while others are struggling with poverty and starvation. Sh*t like this is why Jesus is not coming back during our lifetime until we get our act together.
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06-25-2013 12:53 by
Kisstopher707
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Facebook keeps offering to find my friends for me. Good luck, Facebook! See if you can find my dad while you're at it.
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06-25-2013 13:02 by
Kisstopher707
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Relationships these days are like birthdays; once the cake is eaten, the party's over!
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06-26-2013 06:04 by
Kisstopher707
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2
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Avoid sharing your alcohol, by surrounding yourself with people that don't drink.
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06-27-2013 12:37 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
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07-12-2013 13:18 by
Kisstopher707
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Its already too late for some of you ladies to find Mr Right and I would advise you to just settle for Mr. What's Left or you will die alone.
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07-15-2013 15:03 by
Kisstopher707
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My kinda woman has more sex swings than mood swings.
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07-16-2013 02:17 by
Kisstopher707
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