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Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are. --
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04-06-2010 02:25 by
Joser
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would explain my awesomeness to you, but your brain would just explode...
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04-06-2010 02:27 by
Joser
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When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
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04-06-2010 02:27 by
Joser
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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04-06-2010 02:27 by
Joser
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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04-06-2010 04:55 by
Joser
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In my office there's a light switch that doesn't do anything... Every so often, I turn it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Stop that!"
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04-06-2010 04:57 by
Joser
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If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
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04-06-2010 05:08 by
Joser
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Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids...
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04-06-2010 19:15 by
Joser
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Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that)
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04-06-2010 19:26 by
Joser
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went to Barnes & Noble and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose...
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04-06-2010 19:30 by
Joser
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He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.
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04-06-2010 20:01 by
Joser
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No one likes a smartass. Especially another smartass. Unless they have their own TV show, then they're a comic genius.
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04-06-2010 20:03 by
Joser
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Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
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04-06-2010 20:06 by
Joser
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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04-06-2010 20:07 by
Joser
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is making it idiot proof but then someone comes and makes a better idiot.
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04-06-2010 20:24 by
Joser
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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear...
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04-06-2010 20:28 by
Joser
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C.R.E.A.M. - Coffee Rules Everything Around Me
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04-06-2010 20:32 by
Joser
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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music...
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04-06-2010 20:34 by
Joser
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Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
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04-06-2010 20:39 by
Joser
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I showed my iPad to my iPod, and he was all "what's up fatty".
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04-15-2010 23:14 by
Joser
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