snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Hmm,,, Voyager1 is 8.2 billion Miles from Earth & continues to send readings back to us.. and I can't get cellphone reception in my livingroom?
←Rate | 10-28-2013 17:58 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 07:03 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yes,,, The bathrooms by the pool are a nice touch but completely unnecessary.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon My doctor is getting REALLY tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 10:31 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Balloons are so much more expensive than when I was a kid... Probably due to,,,,, you know,, inflation.
←Rate | 12-11-2016 19:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?.. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?
←Rate | 09-05-2016 15:50 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow. Hard to believe in only a month my wife and daughters will be returning the gifts I bought them.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 19:06 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I predict Peppermint Patty invites herself and her friends over to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving again this year
←Rate | 11-23-2011 13:29 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Molasses is surprisingly tasty,,,, However, I have to admit,,, I have never actually tried any other parts of a mole yet,,so,,,,,,
←Rate | 12-13-2011 13:00 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Math Problem: If Matt has 16 oz of coffee and loses 4 oz at each of 5 speed bumps going into work, how many seconds until Matt kills everyone?
←Rate | 03-21-2012 20:15 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Winning a fight with your wife, is like winning a vacation to Detroit... Don't get too excited
←Rate | 05-25-2015 17:10 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon We are so fortunate not to live in China,,, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 22:05 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can you even imagine how long the Carfax report is on the Batmobile
←Rate | 10-12-2013 14:37 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:51 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's now a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Doritos?,, Hmmm, It seems that our junk foods have started hunting each other.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 17:11 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your car took up two spaces,, So I tried to move it over with my key.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 23:18 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask ,, " Notice anything different?'................. * works EVERY time
←Rate | 04-24-2014 10:35 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Twenty percent of all relationships fail because someone buys a selfie stick.
←Rate | 09-27-2015 19:31 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't wait until Whole Foods starts selling "Mars Water" for 50 bucks a bottle.
←Rate | 09-30-2015 20:34 by snotty Comments (0)  

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