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Page: 2 of 22
A TV chef just explained, "it's the heat that starts the cooking process"... Hmmm,, Let me just write that down
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09-04-2013 09:00 by
snotty
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You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That's why I'm happier than you
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10-15-2012 20:57 by
snotty
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Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
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02-07-2013 11:09 by
snotty
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Day 12.. I haven't eaten apple in a week,, the doctors are slowly getting thru the barricade, I won't last very long, tell my family I love em
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04-21-2015 21:29 by
snotty
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They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
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02-18-2012 08:06 by
snotty
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Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
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11-05-2013 13:02 by
snotty
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2
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My 6yo thinks it's bullcrap that grown-ups don't get a summer break.
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06-03-2013 16:48 by
snotty
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Kurt Cobain would be so disappointed to find out teen spirit now smells like Axe body spray
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10-09-2012 16:02 by
snotty
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I can't wait until Whole Foods starts selling "Mars Water" for 50 bucks a bottle.
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09-30-2015 20:34 by
snotty
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Some people's lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
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10-22-2016 20:45 by
snotty
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Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
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09-24-2015 06:51 by
snotty
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TOP MISTAKES MARRIED MEN MAKE: 1) Doing things... 2) Not doing things... 3) Thinking about doing things... 4) Not thinking about doing things...
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03-08-2013 14:59 by
snotty
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Hmm,,, Voyager1 is 8.2 billion Miles from Earth & continues to send readings back to us.. and I can't get cellphone reception in my livingroom?
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10-28-2013 17:58 by
snotty
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Winning a fight with your wife, is like winning a vacation to Detroit... Don't get too excited
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05-25-2015 17:10 by
snotty
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Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?,,,,, Good times........ Good times
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07-12-2013 09:28 by
snotty
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Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
131
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07-23-2014 20:29 by
snotty
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A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he'd couldn't whine on FB.
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03-07-2014 15:29 by
snotty
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1
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Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
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05-19-2012 13:51 by
snotty
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"Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.
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04-23-2012 08:24 by
snotty
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Hope I never go to jail,, because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2003.
108
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03-23-2013 22:17 by
snotty
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