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Page: 18 of 22
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
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03-05-2016 11:13 by
Snotty
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The first rule of Low Self-Esteem Club is: I'm Running a test to see who really reads my wall... If you do , please leave one word response...
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03-05-2016 08:43 by
Snotty
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Protip: Never mess with a man who leaves foam in a urinal.
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03-03-2016 10:36 by
Snotty
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that a bottle of Prozac in your pocket or are you just sad to see me?
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03-01-2016 19:09 by
Snotty
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Get laser hair removal they said, the technician won't torch your grundle they said.
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03-01-2016 19:07 by
Snotty
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My voting ballot is just an adult coloring book.
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03-01-2016 16:10 by
Snotty
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"What kind of a sick freak would have a painting of a postman being sodomised by a donkey?"... "That's a Rorschach ink blot test.".... "Ummm, a what?"
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03-01-2016 06:02 by
Snotty
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"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.
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03-01-2016 05:49 by
Snotty
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My new wife earned a thunderous round of applause at the reception when she described her wedding vows as "taking one for the team"
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03-01-2016 05:38 by
Snotty
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Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
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02-29-2016 22:22 by
Snotty
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So far in this election cycle,,, If Aliens ARE watching us,, it's safe to say they think we are retarded.
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02-29-2016 22:17 by
Snotty
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Survival Tip: if your wife cooks up "a mess of bacon" and puts it in the fridge, she has a plan. Do not make yourself an epic sandwich.
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02-28-2016 20:14 by
Snotty
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Ummm,,, So when you see a gift horse... Where exactly should you be looking???
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02-28-2016 07:26 by
Snotty
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If Nutella & marshmallow fluff made sweet sweet love & had a baby,,, I would eat that baby.. The End.
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02-28-2016 07:25 by
Snotty
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If a girl pulls out a knife on you during a fight, pull out some bread & mayo. Her woman instincts will kick in & she'll make you a sandwich
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02-28-2016 07:21 by
Snotty
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[At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record?... Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette... *hires me instantly
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02-27-2016 22:45 by
Snotty
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[buying treadmill]... Me: Can I try it out first?... Salesperson: Sure... Me: (pulls out laundry basket and hangs wet clothes on it).. Hmmm, I like it.
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02-27-2016 22:42 by
Snotty
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I don't like who I am at buffets.
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02-27-2016 22:40 by
Snotty
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I typed hahahahahaha,,, and it got autocorrected to hahaha and I was like,, "yeah, you're probably right"
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02-27-2016 22:39 by
Snotty
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4: Mommy, where do babies come from?..... Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...
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02-27-2016 20:34 by
Snotty
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