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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 18 of 22
You think you can preach??? I just convinced a Pentecostal woman to put on pants.
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05-19-2012 09:09 by
snotty
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The guy that invented caller ID should win a Nobel peace prize. Think about many marriages and jobs that invention has actually saved
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05-19-2012 09:14 by
snotty
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I KNOW it's early,,, but I've already got a date lined up for Valentine's Day,,,,,,,,,,,,It's gonna be Feb.14th.
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05-19-2012 13:42 by
snotty
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Autocorrect me if I'm Rung,,, but there's no Tim like the presents
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05-19-2012 13:43 by
snotty
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WHAT,, Age is only a number??? I Don't think so asshat....."age" is a word...
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05-19-2012 13:46 by
snotty
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Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
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05-19-2012 13:51 by
snotty
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Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
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05-19-2012 14:59 by
snotty
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During sex, you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles,,,,,, Wait, Who the heck runs 5 miles in 2 minutes???
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05-19-2012 18:41 by
snotty
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Two lesbians walk into a bra....................(Yes,,that was a typo, but I liked it so much, I kept it.)
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05-20-2012 21:12 by
snotty
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I think I'm approaching my "best if used by" date.
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05-22-2012 01:48 by
snotty
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It's a shame that most things aren't pies... More things should be pies.
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05-23-2012 07:21 by
snotty
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Sorry son, we can't go get ice cream because mommy went to Kohl's 20 times last month.
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05-23-2012 07:39 by
snotty
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Dear MacGuyver,,,I've enclosed a yoyo, three pennies, and mentos... Please save the rainforest.....Love, Snotty
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05-23-2012 18:38 by
snotty
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Say what you will about him,,, but I think it's pretty cool that Jesus spoke in red letters.
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05-23-2012 18:41 by
snotty
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I bought a teethbrush.... It's actually has saved me a lot of time.
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05-23-2012 18:44 by
snotty
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Yesterday, Eugene Polly,, The inventor of the TV remote died.. I'd go to his funeral but it's WAY too far from my couch.
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05-24-2012 11:42 by
snotty
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HAHA !!,, I just saw a picture of Katy Perry holding a guitar and it looked just like when I make my cat pretend he's typing
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05-24-2012 11:46 by
snotty
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There's no place like home. Unless you're a bee, in which case home is a terrible place filled with bees
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05-24-2012 11:47 by
snotty
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I just ate at the Olive Garden for the first time. It felt just like being in Tuscany,, And by Tuscany,, I mean the break room of a Radio Shack
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05-24-2012 11:50 by
snotty
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HEY,,, I remember when they had Child Protective Services when I was a kid... And her name was Grandma... Love you Gram !
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05-24-2012 12:00 by
snotty
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