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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Hey,,,, I said I'd be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
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02-13-2013 11:42 by
snotty
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Well.. I was going to vote for a candidate but I saw a meme on Facebook,,, so now I'm going to vote for another candidate
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01-22-2016 08:02 by
snotty
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Anxiety: The poor man's colon cleanse.
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09-06-2014 09:39 by
snotty
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I'm not a soccer fan,, but if the St. Louis Steamers soccer team ever move to Cleveland,, I'm TOTALLY buying a jersey..
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04-16-2012 19:54 by
snotty
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HR: Let's talk about why you were late today... Me: I told you!.. HR: DRAGONS AREN'T "RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION!".. Me: Duh,,That's why I was late
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07-25-2013 16:59 by
snotty
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My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
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01-20-2013 18:32 by
snotty
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Stupid people aren't flammable enough.
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07-16-2012 07:18 by
snotty
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LISTEN,,, Every pizza can be a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.
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09-09-2013 21:34 by
snotty
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How are poor people SO GOOD at finding money for tattoos???
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05-30-2012 18:57 by
snotty
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STOP holding secret meetings about my paranoia!
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06-13-2012 15:48 by
snotty
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Hmmm,, How about slippers made out of Legos,, So that when you step on a Lego,, you just get taller.
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02-23-2014 15:34 by
snotty
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It's almost 24 years later and so far the magic still hasn't gone out of my divorce
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09-15-2013 07:59 by
snotty
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How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
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04-24-2015 08:37 by
snotty
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So the cop was like 'say the alphabet backwards',, So I said 'the alphabet backwards',, Then we laughed and laughed............ Send bail money
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08-31-2013 07:03 by
snotty
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If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to..
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04-14-2014 20:05 by
snotty
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WAIT !!!.. So if I call the CDC, and tell them I have Ebola,,, they'll clean my house.??.... Seriously?.. Hmmmmm.
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10-11-2014 07:50 by
snotty
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Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
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12-30-2013 17:28 by
snotty
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If you can fold a fitted sheet, you're obviously a witch
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01-19-2013 09:07 by
snotty
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I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web, but no spider. This foreclosure crisis is really getting out of hand
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02-18-2012 08:02 by
snotty
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On Sunday nights, if you listen closely,,, you can hear Monday taunting you with the "Jaws" theme.
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04-08-2012 16:40 by
snotty
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