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Page: 176 of 5577
The only difference between brown nosing and ass kissing is depth perception.
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09-12-2017 08:59
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Never join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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09-16-2017 14:46
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Red wine pairs beautifully with procrastination.
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09-22-2017 22:58 by
Jergim
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"Goodbye, everyone. I'll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
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09-28-2017 08:36
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The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I've never sympathized more with women in my life.
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05-19-2018 08:09
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I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
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06-19-2018 04:48
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Apple is now valued at 1 trillion dollars which is the same as the Gross Domestic Product of Florida... But that's comparing Apples to Oranges
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08-03-2018 13:30
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I wonder of the #MeToo movement folks realize that most people born before 1995 see the "#" sign as the "pound"
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08-23-2018 10:57
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Out of all the utensils to eat rice with how the f*@k did 2 sticks win?
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08-30-2018 12:05 by
Stevielea
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So after winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV. Apparently, this is unacceptable in bowling.
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11-10-2018 18:57
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My New Years resolution for 2019 is to be more assertive if that's okay with you guys?
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12-27-2018 15:49
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I wonder what facebook employees do to kill time at work?
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01-03-2019 09:37 by
Moon
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Check to see if your kids are asleep in their bed late at night by turning off the WIFI.
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04-16-2019 08:41
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This is ridiculous its July 8th... Neighbors are still shooting off fireworks, one almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire..
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07-08-2019 15:07
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a squirt gun filled with tuna water would be a pretty devastating weapon
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09-19-2019 08:17
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There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
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10-28-2017 07:20 by
Kisstopher707
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When it feels like your moral compass always points south.
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12-11-2017 14:08
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In the past few days my Doritos stock started to skyrocket. Thank you California.
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01-04-2018 07:08 by
Jake
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The first rule of Micromanager Club is ... wait I'll just show you
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03-04-2018 10:04
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Ohhhh you’re an alpha male on the Internet. Here. Have a cookie.
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03-25-2018 07:26
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